19 days and counting

Yesterday I received an email with a picture of Pastor Friday and a friend standing in front of the guest house Melody, Sarah, and I will be living in while we're there.  Reality finally hit...Im going to be in Nigeria in less than a month.  Crazy.  Fundraising has been going pretty good....stressful as usual.  Just like every other aspect of this process.  I really just need encouragement.  My mood changes so easily when it comes to this.  I'll be super excited and anxious one second then someone will say something about what I should be doing or what I should have done and everything takes a nose dive.  But that's life.  I guess it leaves even more room for me to lean on God.  Especially since He's really the only one I'll have to fully rely on this summer.  Im beginning to realize it's going to be a lot harder than expected....but it will be fully worth it.  :)

Below is the picture of Pastor Friday (in the blue) and my summer home :)

Pushing the Pause Button

I've decided to ditch stress and handle one thing at a time; crossing things off my list as I get them done.  My passport came a couple weeks ago, thank goodness!  My flights are scheduled, fundraising is going great, and now I am finally taking time to breathe and let myself be excited about the summer.

Having support from friends and family has helped tremendously, and having people in my life who bring be back to reality and keep me on track when my stress levels are soaring are truly gifts from God.  Second thoughts have been plentiful, but God's grace has been much more abundant.  I am so thankful for the people that God has brought into my life this year, especially the ones who keep me laughing.

I have exactly a month and six days until I take off for El Paso, then Nigeria and prayers are much appreciated! 

On an end note...this quote has helped me more than once.

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.  Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

-Helen Keller

Shots, (no) Sleep, and Spring Break

Four hours of sleep, two hours in line, shots, and two more days left in Amarillo.  College kids should be used to this, but I like my sleep.  At least I didn't have to get all my shots today.  One down, and about three thousand more to go.  Im drained.  Physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Funny how coming home drains you more than staying at school.  But I've enjoyed being here and I am thankful for my family.  

I spent the evening designing prayer cards, finally got them looking the way I wanted them to, and then my computer decided it no longer wanted to work.  How lovely.  That's life though.

My passport still hasn't come in and I am super super stressed about that!  I just keep telling myself, "God's here, Gods here, God's here."  It helps.  And like Mother Teresa once said, "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle; I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

Tired of Being Comfortable

Im going to Nigeria.  Im going to Nigeria because Im tired of sitting around feeling sorry for all the hurting people, and doing nothing about it.  Im going to Nigeria to share God's radical love, and I am terrified.

The amount of terror I had a week ago is an ocean compared to the stream of nervous thoughts going through my mind now though.  It seems like every time I sit through chapel or a church service the sermon is directed towards me.  First it was my decision to apply, then my decision to accept, now it's on to staying focused, handling stress, and relying on God and people around me.  Is God putting the notes on the podiums for the preachers?!?

Recently I read an article about how people need to give more money to the poor.  It frustrated me so much that by the time I finished reading it, I threw the paper away.  It went on and on about "entertaining angels" and how the homeless people holding the signs could be Jesus in disguise.  Well honestly, if that is Jesus I want to give Him so much more than a couple bucks.  I know the homeless people will gladly accept money, but working at The Refuge on Saturdays has taught me some things.

1. Having a real, God-centered conversation with a person who has nothing does something for them even $1,000 couldn't do.

2. God doesn't want us to toss a dime in the coffee cup He's holding, He wants us to offer some hope, and maybe, just maybe a little love.  

3. Being radical doesn't mean crossing the line, or stepping beyond the limits.  It means pushing the limits and stepping closer to God, and the people around you.

Learning those things has made me so much more willing to step beyond my comfortable home and grab the hands reaching out for love.  

I didn't start out writing this blog with intentions of going off on a tangent, but like the rest of my generation, I guess Im a little bit frustrated with everyone wanting change and no one wanting to do anything to get the change started.  :)

Enough from the complaint department of my head though, God is good....so very good, and I am so ready to take the love and the hope He has thrown at me across the world to a country that is lacking.  

Keep checking back for more posts.....they'll be more optimistic, I promise!

On an end note:

"The love we give away is the only love we keep."

-Elbert Hubbard